As parents of children with food allergies, we often find ourselves balancing hope, fear, and uncertainty. Over the past couple of years, my daughter has been working through the egg ladder—a step-by-step process to introduce egg in increasing amounts and forms, starting with baked egg and progressing through to foods like egg noodles, meatballs with eggs, chicken cutlets, and eventually pancakes and waffles. It’s a long journey, requiring patience, trust, and courage on both sides.
Each step was a small victory, but today was meant to be a big one—the challenge of eating an actual egg.
A Big Step Forward… or Not?
Yesterday, after school, my daughter got off the bus, and I immediately knew something was wrong. She was visibly upset and just couldn’t hold back her fear. “I don’t want to do it, Mom. I’m terrified,” she said. She was supposed to have her oral food challenge the next day, but after a lengthy discussion and tears from both of us it became clear to me that the mental and emotional load of potentially consuming an allergen—something that had caused her harm before—was too much for her to handle at this time.
We made a decision together: this challenge was not right for her right now. And that’s okay.
The Emotional Toll of Food Allergies
People often don’t understand the full weight of living with a food allergy. It’s more than just avoiding certain foods or reading labels—it’s a constant state of vigilance, and sometimes, deep fear. When we ask children to consume an allergen as part of a food challenge, we’re asking them to face something that their body has reacted to in the past. While doctors rely on lab results, food challenges, and other clinical data to determine the next steps, it’s equally important to listen to the emotional and mental state of the child involved.
The truth is, asking someone to consume something that could hurt them is a heck of a lot to ask, as you can imagine. Sometimes, the mental and emotional toll can be even harder to manage than the physical one. Anxiety around food challenges can build up to the point where it affects their mental health, and it’s critical for us as parents to recognize when that’s happening.
Trust Your Gut (and the Lab Values)
What I’ve learned through this journey is the importance of finding balance between trusting the science—lab values, allergy testing, and food ladders—and trusting your gut as a parent. While lab results can show progress, they don’t always capture the full emotional journey. And sometimes, our children aren’t ready, no matter what the tests say.
There is no rush. Food challenges can be postponed, and there is no shame in waiting until your child feels more ready, mentally and emotionally. In our case, taking a step back from the challenge was the best decision. We may revisit it one day when she’s feeling more confident, but for now, we’re focusing on her emotional well-being.
Knowing When to Back Away
The key lesson I want to share is this: it’s okay to back away. It’s okay to put your child’s mental health first. There’s no one-size-fits-all path through food allergy management, and as parents, we must listen to our children, respect their fears, and make decisions based on the whole picture—both the lab values and the emotions involved.
For now, we’ve decided to pause and let her feel comfortable where she is. We’ll revisit the oral challenge when the time feels right, but today wasn’t the day, and that’s perfectly fine. Sometimes, the most important progress we can make is giving ourselves—and our children—permission to step back and breathe.
Join Our Community
If you’re a parent navigating food allergies and want to connect with others who understand, I invite you to join my Facebook Food Allergy Group. It’s a supportive space where you can ask questions, share your experiences, and connect with other parents and individuals facing similar challenges. We’re all in this together, and sometimes, just knowing you’re not alone can make all the difference. Join us today!